Dear Hi Hello
To Whomsoever It May Concern,
Great! Thanks to your analysis my parents wont let me watch TV now. Ooof .. I was hoping they wouldn't read the 2nd page story 'The Times of India' did based on your analysis, but boy that very evening my fundamental rights were forcibly taken away.
They refuse to buy the fact that 'watching tv' is among the factors that influence the marks the least! And now I'm reduced to watching TV once a week. What a shame! A travesty of justice!
"Watching TV once a week improve Math scores by +1.5%" - Big deal! So by cutting my TV privileges my math scores improve from 31.9% to 33.4%. Happy now? I spoke to my cousin Calvin about this and this is what he thinks of the whole ruckus. You cant stop us!!!
And the analysis says "Watching TV" helps improve reading scores by 5.3 %. But why isn't anybody telling me that? Now you know who is to blame if I don't win the Literature Nobel?
Aaaah ... Wait a minute. That's my mom yelling at me to empty the garbage can. I've never done that before and now it's a law at home thanks to you know who. Don't pretend you don't know who. Its you! All because your analysis said children helping in the household improve their total marks by +5.2%. I've been asked to do all the dirty work - that too daily!!! You horrible monsters. If this goes beyond a point I'm calling the Child helpline.
You might find this crazy but I hate playing games everyday! I'm not like the other kids. I understand playing games is good for the body and all that but isn't once a month fine? Let me tell you about my idea of fun - I'd love to be surrounded with comics and adventure novels - 'Asterix and Obelix', 'Tintin', 'Archies', Tolkien, CS Lewis, Robert Ludlum, Frederick Forsyth - that's my world. How dare you destroy my perfect world. Just because your analysis said playing games everyday improves total scores by + 3.3 % I've been forced to play when all I want to do is sit on the couch engrossed in 'The Bourne Identity'.
I know I've been really hard on you, but thank you (this doesn't mean we are friends now) for bringing out the impact of reading in your analysis. You need to put that on every billboard on every highway, on every Television channel, on the front page of every daily, introduce a bill in parliament - make it a law !!!
I still hate you.
The sluggish, lazy, couch-potato association declares war on you.
Oh no... the garbage can !!!
With a lot of hatred,
An Angry Indian Student